Vraja-līlā

<< 8 A Message from her Guru >>

Days passed and her situation got worse. She started to go blind, being able to see objects only directly in front of her eyes. She was very eager to chant Hare Kṛṣṇa, but her japa became increasingly difficult because of her weak voice. So she asked me to chant in her ear and she followed me by fingering her beads in her hand. Mānasī Gaṇgā phoned Śrīla Gurudeva again on October 9th to inform him that Vraja Līlā did not have long to live. The next day we received a fax from Śrīla Gurudeva giving her his final instructions:

“Lord Kṛṣṇa, who is like a sun rising in the darkness, like a boat to the drowning, like a sweet raincloud to those dying of thirst, like fabulous wealth to the povertystricken, and like an infallible physician to those afflicted with the most painful disease, has come to grant auspiciousness to us.”

[Śrī Vyāsa quoted from Padyāvalī]

“Wroclaw, Poland, October 10, 1994
My Dear Vraja Līlā,
Please accept my blessings. All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda.

I have just received information from Mānasī Gaṇgā dāsī that the doctors in Vrndāvana say you will soon leave your body. I am praying you will go back home, back to Godhead, because you have rendered such nice service to the Lord in this lifetime.
Now, in these last moments, please fix your mind upon the eternal pastimes of the Lord. Pray to Him to remove any obstacles to pure devotion that remain within your heart and ask for the privilege of eternal service to His lotus feet. He will surely answer your prayers, as He has kindly brought you to Śrī Vrndāvana-dhāma in the last days of your life, where He has given you the shelter of so many loving devotees.

Please know that now I am thinking of you every minute of the day, even in the midst of my busy schedule. I am constantly praying to Śrīla Prabhupāda to watch over and guide you in this final test, your departure from your body. By his grace we can transcend the most difficult moments.

You are my very dear spiritual daughter and I will feel your separation intensely. But know for sure that the spiritual master and the disciple are never separated even for a moment, because the relationship is eternal. One day all of us—the members of ISKCON—will be together again in the spiritual world, safe at the lotus feet of Śrīla Prabhupāda. Śrīla Prabhupāda said we will have our ISKCON in the spiritual sky.

My prayer is that Kṛṣṇa will soon take you to the shade of His lotus feet, engaging you in His eternal service. My blessings are always with you, Vraja. I will look forward to seeing you again in the not-toodistant future.

Your ever well-wisher
Indradyumna Swami”

From the wording of the fax we could understand that Śrīla Gurudeva would not be coming. We hesitated to read it to her. That evening Tamal Krishna Mahārāja, Girirāja Mahārāja and other devotees came and led beautiful kīrtanas in Vraja Līlā’s room. But Vraja was looking around anxiously and wanted to know if her Guru Mahārāja was coming or not. She said she was not peaceful, despite the wonderful kīrtanas. I decided to tell her the truth, hoping she might be pacified in the presence of those Vaisṇavas and give up the idea to see her Guru Mahārāja before her final test. So I leaned over and told her that Śrīla Gurudeva had sent a message: he had so many responsibilities in Poland and it was not possible for him to come. I asked her to see Guru Mahārāja’s godbrothers as his representatives sent to help her.

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