<< 7 A Message to her Guru >>

Day by day we could see she was getting worse. Because the end was nearing, we decided to inform Śrīla Gurudeva that there was little hope left for her and request him to come to Vndāvana. Mānasī Gaṇgā called Śrīla Gurudeva on October 5th. Upon hearing the news, Gurudeva said he needed some time to see if he could free himself from his preaching duties in Poland. He requested to hear something personally from Vraja Līlā and asked that we relay her message to him. When I told her this she remained silent for a few moments and then dictated the following message to her beloved spiritual master:

“My Dearmost Spiritual Master,

I bow down to your lotus feet. All glories to you.

Everything is going away from my hands, every material hope which I had. But I am still a child in spiritual life. I wish I had a little love or spiritual bhāva within my heart. But I have deep, firm faith in you. I am happy because of this faith and I’ll be keeping it as a great treasure. It gives me another kind of faith to be back in the spiritual world and attain the service of the lotus feet of Śrī Śrī Rādhā-Śyāmasundara. And this kind of faith is faith in real things, which I am sure are existing and just waiting for me at that side of the door.

I am indebted to you so much that you are guiding me in my spiritual life, although I feel so much separation from you.

Your servant
Vraja Līlā dāsī”

After receiving this message, Śrīla Gurudeva said he would try his best to come. Vraja Līlā was extremely happy, saying that she had never expected such mercy from him. She said that Mother Arcā Vigraha, who had recently passed away, was extremely fortunate that her Guru Mahārāja, Girirāja Swami, was present at the moment of her departure. Now she could see that the same fortune might possibly be coming to her. But in Śrīla Gurudeva’s message he said, ‘’I might be coming”, and she realized that there is nothing cheap in Vraja, so she began to pray very, very intensely for the opportunity to hear from her Guru Mahārāja before she left her body.

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